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*Unless you are a public defender, an entry-level government attorney or a solo practitioner who can’t afford a Missouri Lawyers Media subscription, don’t subscribe to this Substack.

It’s not for you, and I will roast you Gen Z-style if you continue subscribing. Yeah, I see you, [redacted]law@gmail.com. Take your license to practice law from The Missouri Bar elsewhere (this is satire).

Don’t you have an all-day deposition you need to be doing? Don’t you need to mentally prepare for a judge screaming roasting you in a public trial instead of me doing it in your email inbox? Get out of here (if you can believe it, this is satire. You don’t deserve to be yelled at).

This Substack is NOT meant to be a pipeline to a MO Lawyers Media subscription. I’m not paid to write this (this is not satire). Let the regular people have our fun without your legalese side bar.

I wasn’t going to post today but here I am, after finishing my last deadlines early.

Just a small update for you today: That “KC businesswoman girlbosses too close to the sun” headline was axed — too Gen Z.

Typical. Expected. We move on. It’s just our private little joke now.

Something else I noticed the other day is that I somehow made more than 1,000 LinkedIn connections in the last year and didn’t notice. You can connect with me here.

Now, I did finish all my deadlines today for the Weekly out on Monday, but I still need to edit the profiles for the August POWER List. That’s a who’s who of influential lawyers in a given practice area from our editorial team. I sort of dread this task because it’s very repetitive, but it’s at least mostly mindless. August is commercial/consumer litigation.

Feel free to email me at cmurdock@molawyersmedia.com if you have a recommendation for FUTURE Power Lists, since August has already been selected. Sometimes we scratch our heads trying to add new honorees.

In the meantime, connect with me on LinkedIn, email me at chloeannmurdock[@]gmail dot com, or follow me on Twitter.

Do you have a suggestion for how I can talk to you guys, girls and gorls (not a typo. It’s not my fault you haven’t seen “Despicable Me") as a community? Would you like to see a discussion thread? What should I do with you minions?

Please talk to me via my social media handles above. Otherwise, I’m just shouting into the void and magically landing in your email.

Also, my Venmo is @Chloe-Murdock, if you like these updates so much that you feel like paying for my coffee or funding my Little Treat Lifestyle.

I’m a reporter who talks to people making at least three times my salary from 8-5 every day. If you’re a Missouri Bar License Holder who’s not supposed to be here, it’s the least you can do (I’m joking, but also not really).

Toodles!